Here I am again, having all these thoughtful thoughts racing around in my head.
I just got back to my apartment, which is a small 1960s one-bedroom that sits on the top of a hill in Seattle overlooking the Space Needle. I spent my morning walking down to my favorite coffee shop, buying a couple new books at a used bookstore and sitting on a bench underneath the Space Needle reading. It was a beautiful Fall morning, sun shining & leaves crisping underneath my brown leather loafers.
And as I was walking back up the hill, I began thinking about expectations. Expectations are the source of all disappointment. Does anything good come of expectations? I once knew (well, sort of dated) a man who believed in having no expectations - and by living this way he’d never be disappointed in anyone. Well to me, that just sounds like no way to live. But perhaps there’s something to it?
Well I’ll never know, because I could never live my life that way. I love the fluttering feeling in your stomach when you know something amazing is about to happen. I also hate the feeling in my stomach when I know something bad is about to happen. But feeling – and never losing that emotional ability within myself – is something I believe in holding on to.
A good friend of mine once said she truly believed that “if someone really wanted to find love, they will find it. They would find love, maybe in an unexpected place, but they’d find it.” I loved the look on her face when she said it – it was like she just knew it to be true, and that’s it. She went on to talk about how having set expectations on what you are looking for in love doesn’t always work, and doesn’t always matter. That perfect person that meets all your check-boxes on your lover-list may end up dissapearing for no reason, leaving you crushed. And that special person that you never thought could be the one, may turn out to be just that. You never know. Love throws expectations out the window.
We spend our single-time creating expectations. It’s true. We sit around and talk about what we want – physically, emotionally, financially. But in the end, when someone comes along and changes you – it won’t matter if they have what you thought you were looking for. All that will matter is that they make you happy.
So why do we spend so much time developing these expectations? Maybe it’s the only way to fill an empty part of our lives until the thing that is supposed to fill it comes along.
I’m not sure. This isn’t an answers post – it’s just a thought.