Dear Diary: You’ll Be OK

Dear Diary is a series of blog posts that cover love, life and lessons learns. Check out more of Natasha’s Dear Diary posts here.

 

Recently a friend called me up crying – her long-time boyfriend had just ended things with her. Devastating. Anyone who has been surprised by the at-the-time love of their life telling them they no longer want to be together knows the feeling – actual physical pain from just a few words out of a certain mouth. So whoever made up the saying “…but words can’t hurt me” clearly hadn’t had their heart smashed into pieces.

And while I felt so much pain for her – and knowing exactly how she was feeling (because I’d been there not so long ago) – I also felt a small amount of happiness for her. Because I knew that she would eventually be OK – and even better.

I know what you are thinking – you evil bitch! But seriously – I felt a little joy for my devastated friend. This was her first real heartbreak – and while it is probably the worst pain she’d ever feel – getting over it is also one of the most triumphant battles she’ll ever face.

Falling in love takes courage – and above all, faith. And when that faith is broken – especially when you don’t expect it – you feel as if your world has been flipped upside down. I explained it to my friend using a pie metaphor (because I spend too much time in Excel during my day job). You’re life is a bunch of different slices of pie that make a whole – and after a break up, one of those slices (a big one) is all-of-a-sudden gone. And now you have a giant slice of pie missing that you have to fill.

So what the hell do fill this vanished pie slice with? Fill it with what you love – since that’s what you lost. Take it as an opportunity to focus on what you want to do with your life. And by figuring out what makes you happy – without a relationship – you’ll be able to be happy no matter who you are or who you aren’t with.

So let me return to the point I want to make: you’ll be OK. Everyone always says “Time heals all wounds” – but when you are in the middle of devastation it just sounds like Hallmark B.S. they found on the internet after searching for “What to say to a heart broken friend.”

But it’s so true. I’ve been in love twice in my life – and had my heart broken both times. But guess what? I’m happier than I’ve ever been. And when I look back on my past relationships, I’m grateful for what they taught me about myself and about what I want in my next relationship.

I’m naturally an optimist – so if you aren’t, you may be rolling your eyes at this point. Well let me put it more bluntly: you’ll get the fuck over this guy (or girl) and you’ll be able to look back in retrospect and THANK THE HEAVENS you aren’t with them anymore – because it didn’t work out for a reason.

So before you think about what you could have said differently after the break-up, or what you could do to get them back – stop yourself. Look forward. That’s the only promise there is – the future.

And pat yourself on the back – because you honestly loved somebody, and that on it’s own is an accomplishment. And now it’s time to love yourself.

xoxo

Natasha

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  1. brianne says:

    These words are so true. I’ve had my heart broken a few times, and when I found the person I knew I was meant to be with it was like all the puzzle pieces of lessons from those broken hearts got put together into an entirely different feeling. Plus, now she can rock out to that Gotye song.

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  2. Brennan says:

    There is so much truth to everything that you said. It’s funny how we grow up listening to people telling us cliches like “you have to be happy by yourself before you can be happy with someone else” or “everything happens for a reason” but they’re only cliches until you’ve lived through hard times and realize the truth behind them. Thank you so much for sharing, this post brightened my day :)

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