This post is very personal for me, and I hesitated publishing it. However I decided I am probably not the only one with an experience like this, and perhaps I will be able to empower other ladies by telling my story.
I’m an extremely social person. I love going out with friends on the weekends, meeting new people, having conversations with strangers and getting to know each person that walks into my life. This past weekend, like most, I was out having a good time with friends in Downtown Seattle. On the way home we all decided to stop by a local pizza place that stayed open late after bars closed down…and I offered to grab pizza slices for a couple of my good friends. However there was one guy in the car who I barely knew, and I told him if he wanted pizza to come out with me and get himself a slice (since I didn’t want to pay for his slice). I was not rude…but he demanded that I buy him a slice of pizza – barely knowing me at all.
So I told him not to be rude and come out with him to get himself one. He refused and sat in the car while I got out. While waiting in line, I decided to be kind and get him a slice anyway, even though he had been very rude. As I walked back to the car, he thought I didn’t get him any pizza, and yelled out the window at me, “You FAT BITCH.”
I was appalled. What did he just say to me? I was feeling very confident in my outfit, having a wonderful night, and a friend of a friend is calling me the two things I feared being called. I got in the car and asked him why he was acting like that…why would he say such a thing. And he responded by saying, “Because you are a fat bitch, that’s why.”
I went off on him. I sunk down to his level and told him exactly what I thought about him and what he said. He shut his mouth real quick. But in hindsight I regret stooping to his level – hurling insults right back at him. I was in tears by the end of the night and felt violated. How could someone be so cruel? And the ironic thing was, of course, I actually bought him a slice. He wasn’t getting now, obviously.
After talking with a good friend, I realized that his insult truly had nothing to do with me as a person, inside or out. It was really about his own insecurities. And regardless of your size as a woman, one of the most hurtful insults is to be called a “Fat Bitch.” We all have body issues, thanks to the pressure that the media and society puts on us to look a certain way. A way which doesn’t actually exist, except in the pages of airbrushed and photoshopped magazine pages.
I had to realize that if I let this near stranger hurt me, if I let him touch my heart and my mind, I was giving him power. Someone who degrades women, who throws out the most hurtful of insults to a woman just because he doesn’t get what he wants – like a child.
Another ironic note? He has actually tried to pick me up before…hit on me…creep…whatever you want to call it.
So, TRENT, I’m calling you out. For all the beautiful women out there who are trying to live up to unrealistic standards and fear being judged through the eyes of egotistical, insecure men: I am a FAT BITCH. And I love it. I love my beautiful body, my curves, my breasts, my hips, my lips, my eyes and myself.
And I have you to thank for empowering myself – and being comfortable with owning the title of Fat Bitch.